Everything about the title is cringe worthy but right now I can’t think of anything different. Maybe a new one will surface but for now it remains because in spite of the title, I got something to say. Bryan can attest to the fact if I think it, I say it. Occasionally even with positive results. 

First, little context. I have an upcoming solo trip to Cuba and I’ve been doing my usual pre-travel, loose itinerary planning. I hate the words itinerary planning and travel together because it makes it sound like imma plan and imma stick to it. I prefer to go with the flow and see what I’m in the mood for and when. I also really love totally spontaneous trips. But usually if time allows, I do list ideas of what I want to see and do and have a general idea of the most efficient order so I don’t waste traveling time with research and ping ponging all over the place. 

It’s a pretty thorough process. I cross reference travel sites, read through every semi-related posts on forums, scour photo feeds looking for little clues in the background of something not mentioned that may interest me. I look through non-travel related references, I try to analyze the source to see what bias or perspective they may be coming from to know how much their opinion is relevant to me. All my findings are then neatly organized into, like, 20 categories: outdoor things, indoor things, places to stay, places to eat – vegans know that last one actually can require a bit of research ahead of time because all those most recommended restaurants rarely apply to us enough to be worth our dollars and we can’t always rely on casually passing by a place that can adequately feed us. Plus, we will jump through some hoops if it means good vegan food.

I plot everything out on a map which can be accessed offline. Planning like this can sound like a chore and even a nightmare to some, but I liveee for this. I’m really good at it. I don’t claim to be good at much but I ain’t afraid to say this is what I was born to do. TBH I hope I have a more meaningful purpose but this is something that seems to come very natural to me. It possibly starts to border on unhealthy. I have some stability issues (shocker) which can manifest in mild-mania, hyper-focusing, or obsessive-leaning ways. But damn if it doesn’t make me good at this. There actually are some benefits to my mental illness.

The real point of all that is to say, I’ve seen a lot of photos from other people’s travels and that thing I said I needed to say is this:

White traveling ladies, we gotta chill. 

I mean I’m the authority on absolutely nothing so you do you, but also, chill. I beg. If I see one more photo of a thin, tan, often blonde white woman in a flowy whatever, often mimicking what they think the local culture would wear, based on almost offensive stereotypes, but with the addition of a hat, I’m going to burn down the internet. I’m not blonde or tan 11 months out of the year, my BMI fluctuates in the average range for my slightly below to average height, and I’m not sure I own anything flowy but even I’m thinking jesus, we are all the fucking same vanilla person. Is this a prerequisite to become a popular travel blogger? All posing in our Instagram glory in front of a “rustic” (read: dilapidated) building or with a local that proves just how accepting we are.

I feel like this is a time when white women need to be fading into the background. Not posing with our arms in the air like we are on some goddamn roller coaster (thanks to my friend Jan for that comparison) “living our best life!” while that crumbling building is someone’s house or the local is, well, a person and not a prop. We travel around commanding attention, subconsciously or not and I’m feeling gross. It is, however, a valuable lesson in what not to do when traveling, especially to other countries and mixing among other cultures.

This is where I feel a little hypocritical because I love grit, I love the worn and battered, I don’t feel right if I’m remotely polished. And this is what I love to photograph. From a visual perspective, my favorite photography is often capturing physical or emotional pain, illness, destruction, it seems like anything that can be a hardship for someone, in my opinion, make the best photographs in an artistic sense. Not in a human-with-compassion sense. Nothing else is so raw and honest and someone has to capture these moments to tell the story. I’ve been to more than one funeral where I’ve unintentionally spotted the perfect lighting of an emotional moment to capture, so raw and unguarded. I see the photo in my mind and know it’s one I’d like to see hanging in a gallery. I don’t know if this makes me a terrible or morbid person, perhaps both. I’ll probably actually be ghosting (in it’s original meaning) my own funeral trying to direct a photo shoot.

So on one hand, I get the appeal of wanting to capture places with these elements. On the other hand, I think it’s a little disrespectful to be using them as a backdrop because it’s such a cute contrast to my flowy dress and beach waves. I guess it’s the difference in documenting and glamorizing. I’m not implying I do it right either, but more and more I’m learning what not to do and once you check out a few white girl travel blogs, the pattern becomes undeniable. And they all start to blend together. 

Did I tell you about that time I was in Tulum and had a front row seat to the makings of a  “candid moment”?  I already felt weird being in Tulum for a second time (ain’t gonna lie, it’s fucking beautiful, the Caribbean water, the insanely soft sand, the pueblo has me never wanting to leave so I could befriend all of the street dogs and warm people). But here I am laying on the beach, only to look over to a woman walking towards the water. One hand unnecessarily holding down the hat on her head, her long, sheer cover up flowing behind her along with her wavy hair and for a millisecond I felt a twinge of jealousy. She looked so put together, like her life must be just like a movie.

Turns out it practically was because just as that thought entered my head, she comes to an abrupt stop and turns around to walk back towards a guy holding a camera. She flips through the images, apparently none were satisfactory because she reenacted the exact same scene. Not once, not twice, but THREE MORE TIMES. I knew this kind of thing happened, but at the same time I never thought it actually happened. I’ve retaken plenty of selfies, or been in a group photo where someone demanded a re-do but I didn’t think that someone would be in one of the most beautiful places, walking towards the most perfect water and wasting time redoing something they will filter to hell and try to pass off as a natural and casual moment that happened to be caught on camera. Are you even having fun? Because all I’m seein’ is some business goin’ down.

It was kind of an eye-opening experience that made me evaluate the way I travel and capture moments in general. This seems predominately like a white girl thing. Maybe that’s offensive and it might be but it’s also true. Traveling is a massive privilege. You’ll see over and over that “anyone can travel! With the right planning or sacrifice, there’s no reason you can’t! I do it!”

You have those who sold everything they own to travel – but having stuff to sell is a privilege

You have those who only drive to their destinations – but having a reliable car is a privilege

You have those who only fly for free with credit card miles – but qualifying for a credit card with benefits; privilege

Being able to afford a passport or a suitcase, having child/animal/house sitters, being able to miss work or school, the physical or mental ability to handle traveling, HAVING A FUCKING NAME THAT DOESN’T GET YOU FLAGGED AT THE AIRPORT or be from a country not allowed to enter another country – whatever it is, there’s definitely privilege involved and I think that needs to be acknowledged more often than it is among travelers. Not to say it’s not doable for those with more challenges than others but it’s not always a matter of sacrificing your daily Starbucks for a year to save up enough money. I know I’m fortunate to travel as I do. My husband props me up in a way that allows me to travel alone, we have resources when we all travel together. It requires a lot even for budget friendly trips.

So it really, really, really bothers me when white women go to a place and use poverty as a backdrop. Or do anything that is even more LOOK AT ME. One blog I came across while looking for suggestions on Cuba, written by a white woman from the US, said a particular bus tour was a waste of money because all she saw was poverty and more poverty. I’m sorry someone’s real everyday life in a city stricken with poverty that you chose to visit assaulted your eyes. Maybe the tour was falsely advertised and was a waste of money when she signed up for one thing and got something totally different. Or maybe she could have used it as a “not what I expected but it really gave me a new perspective” moment. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions about this person but after the 100th blog of a white person going into a new country, sticking to the tourist spots and being bothered of what life is really like for those who live there made me so embarrassed for them. For us.

But the thing that finally inspired this post was an instagram account called Havana Destinations. One would think with a name like that, you may get some highlights of Havana and maybe even some local recommendations. What I didn’t expect was for Every Single Photo To Be a Different Version of the Same White (or White Passing) Person.

Not only did it turn me off from following but it made me sad that this page felt the need to promote their city in such a way. But we did that. We caused that to happen. We see a similar image from someone else’s travel and believe this is what we need and we want to look just like that. PR people catch on that this is what will bring often much needed tourism dollars into their country. They know they must appeal to white women’s desire to have Instagramable photos with themselves as the star and the best way to appeal to them is to show similar people doing just that.

I know this makes me sound like some bitter, judgey asshole (not wrong on the asshole) and I know, not all white girls. If this isn’t you, then this isn’t about you. And anyone who is not white, this tangent does not apply. I have ZERO opinion on how you should travel or how you should be and live your life at all, it’s not my place. White girls tho, I think we need to handle a little Stop Doing That and taking it down a notch.

By all means take those selfies! Travel! It’s how we (hopefully) gain a new perspective and realize just how small we are in the world. But it ain’t always our time or place to shine. Believe it or not, it’s not always about us.